What my paper needs

I need to add better evidence but I feel like my paper has the right idea to answer the prompt, but my quotes are not giving enough example to support my claims. I think I fulfilled the prompt questions with the correct answers but wrong quotes. I need to remove my personal opinion from my paper it is irrelevant. I need to begin adding in the citations for my evidence. Kaiserman has torn apart my essay so I will scrap it and start over.

Exploratory draft

Tiffany Whittaker

Kaiserman

English 91

13 November 2014

Living with Culture

            In Vonnegut’s book “Breakfast of Champions” we begin to scratch the surface of the American culture, and the culture we have not yet grown the value for. Vonnegut explains his brief encounter with high culture, but overall writes how his life has always belonged to pop or low culture. As a man in the advertisement industry pop culture is demand, and in America pop culture is found in great numbers. Many people can say they have read or heard the twilight series, but few have read Shakespeare. Low culture we find daily in the books we read, shirts we wear, and movies we watch, however high culture can be rare, priceless, and most the time we won’t take a second look at, and sometimes high and low culture can clash. To Vonnegut low culture is trash, and he despises it because he see the truth behind the work; in low culture the idea is placed in the “work of art” no need to think or put your own twist toward it, it’s there to offer a short term pleasure. But high culture leaves the imagination wide open to interpretation, emotion and thought is free, high culture isn’t trying to sell the “in” make you feel the need to compare, pleasure can be found inside, if you have the awareness.

prezi link

https://prezi.com/ejm5tw-nhtfv/culture/

With These Words I Can Sell You Anything

1. The Words "new" and "improved" are placed on packages of products to give consumers a sense that they are taking part in something that is the next best thing. I notice some advertisers use things like: bigger better and improved, 20% more or free, now with something others don't provide. Big business likes to put minimum effort into a "new" product to gain more money while using less to produce the item. But to sell it they use "fancy" and appealing words to coat an almost similar product.

Exploratory Draft (Prius)

Tiffany Whittaker

English 91

Kaiserman

25 September 2014

The World with Prius

This year is believed to be the hottest summer yet, most also believe we can blame global warming; best bet is to go green. Toyota provides an advertisement for consumers that if you drive a Prius the earth will break out into joy and dance when you drive by. Toyota Prius is an electric car pushed to consumers to solve our many high emission pollution problems. This dealer has begun to push hybrid vehicles in hopes of creating a big effect in our O-Zone layer.

            Toyota promise drivers the experience of earthly happiness; these claims are supportable only by the fact that Prius is an electric car and will not put off large emissions. However plants will not come to life and dance for you while driving down the road. Prius also provides great gas mileage as show in their advertisement, along with great savings from high MPG. Driving Prius gives consumers great savings at the pump but also helps the environment strive.

            Toyota provides consumers with the ability to save money and help the environment with a safe efficient vehicle. Toyota’s main cause for the advertisement is of course to sell their product; Toyota also wants to appeal to consumers of quality drivers, with money saving values. We all know about California having noticeable smog cover Prius has been the first attempt at reducing emission clouds, and that has spoken to many consumers alone, shown to be another big reason for Toyota Prius advertisements.

Violent Media is Good for Kids

1. To help his son overcome his fears Jones reads comics about Tarzan. The point Jones wanted to illustrate was the violent characters parents see are not what children see, but rather heroes and even an escape to emotions.

Turkle sentences

Introducing "Standard Views"
1. Many people today tend to believe that the change in technology is changing the way people go through their day.
2. Conventional wisdom has it that children in the new generation are not as dependent as former generations.

Introducing Something Implied or Assumed
1. One implication of Turkle's treatment of technology is that was have become to dependent upon cellular devices.
2. Although Turkle does not say so directly, she apparently assumes that children have become increasingly translucent to the reality versus virtual reality.

Introducing an Ongoing Debate

1. In discussions of networking, one controversial issue has been peoples craving for validation over violation.
2. My own view is people create a false self when given technology and free time; Facebook being the biggest example of virtual reality, many people have fake pictures and information.

Capturing Authorial Action

1. Turkle acknowledges that multitasking has become more needed in our fast pacing world.
2. I agrees with Turkle that children's value for living things has decreased.

Introducing Quotations
1. Turkle states, "people become gratified by a certain public exposure; it is more validation than violation." (232).
2. According to Turkle, "The self that grows up with multitasking and rapid response measures success by calls made, e-mails answered and messages responded to." (229).

Disagreeing, With Reasons
1. I think Turkle is mistaken because she overlooks the safety precautions now needed in the current generations.
2. Turkle claim that the development of autonomy rests upon the questionable assumption that previous generations had no cell phones for safety and that was a right of passage.

Agreeing and Disagreeing Simultaneously
1. Though I concede that children still have a sense of independence I still insist that children rely to greatly on technology and its resources.
2. Although I agree with Turkle up to a point, I cannot accept her overall conclusion that technology is taking away our personal time, I feel I can get many this done faster and more efficiently with just my smart phone.